I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
