No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
