i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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