Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
