he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
