she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
