Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
