pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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