The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
