the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
