I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Panties = found
Randomize
