shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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