my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
