I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
