I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
