As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
