Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
