Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
