Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
