You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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