WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
