Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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