are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
