i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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