She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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