just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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