The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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