I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Duck Duck Cougar?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
All the doctor said was why
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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