and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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