My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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