she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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