I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
