I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
