I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
