I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
