I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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