I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
