At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
