they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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