His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
it glows. i had to have it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
