Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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