i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
