I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i out mim tonsoeep
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