I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
