Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
