All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
