I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
