I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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