just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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