I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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