take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
