well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
