The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
They took my balls.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I enjoy the company of your penis
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
