Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
